In five unrelated surveys performed on Saturday evening, the YES campaign for the ratification of the European Fiscal Treaty Referendum has recieved a boost thanks to a resounding turnaround in attitude attributed to the sweltering weekend weather.Men and women of all ages holding 99s and pints of cider were party to the surveys as the surprise shift in voter outlook was recorded. Almost all voters who took part in the polling were said to have had “massive smiles on their faces”, and were reported to have appeared “horny”, happy” and “really horny”.
Voters, up until this weekend, have been completely at a loss as to which way to vote – with a majority deciding that nobody has a clue what’s going on, the treaty isn’t even fully finished yet and that the Fine Gael/Labour government are worthless, scum-sucking parasites. And so are RTÉ and the Church. And who the hell is Declan Ganley.
But with the beautiful sunny weather on Saturday came shiny-pink shoulders, wildly optimistic street clothing and a breezier, ‘aragh what harm‘ demeanour allowing the largely meaningless and cryptic Fiscal Treaty proposal to be pushed past the country while Joe Average is distracted by drinking in the sun and dancing stupidly to the sound of “Boom-Shack-A-Lack” by Apache Indian.