“RTÉ ruined my chances” says Gallagher in conference moaning storm

Troubled and hapless state broadcaster RTÉ got it in the ear again this week as meaty open-shirted skinbag Sean Gallagher whined and cried his way through an interview conducted by his own former presidential campaign adviser (Jack Murray) at the Media Future conference in Dun Laoghaire this afternoon, claiming the broadcaster to be “arrogant” and that it stopped him from becoming president, and didn’t apologise afterwards.

Gallagher also mentioned that he had been contacted by two people “in the media” about the upcoming on-air “ambush” by Pat Kenny and his arsenal of alleged tweets from Sinn Féin pertaining to suspicious payments made on behalf of Fianna Fáil by Gallagher. The claims were not well refuted by Gallagher on the night and he immediately began to stink of dodgy Fianna Fáil bollixology, killing his Donald Trump, rags-to-riches, hard-slogging, plain-speaking, self-starter image which he had cultivated by pretending to invest in businesses on telly and by not wearing a tie in formal situations and being tall.

Ironically, ballbag-headed Gallagher further weakened his tough-in-business image by sobbing about RTÉ being arrogant and unapologetic while simultaneously remarking that he would have had the presidency in the bag if it hadn’t been for Kenny and his faux-tweetery. “The political media wrote me off because they didn’t understand who I was, because their view of politics was so narrow and because they are scared of me and my awesome businessman ways – such as eating lunch on the go, being uncompromising and making a killing on cute property deals” He then folded his arms and stood at a tilt, narrowing his eyes and looking judgemental and powerful. He left with a fee of €70 for speaking which included two free iced buns and tea/coffee with refills. Some audience members also mentioned their suprise at the fact that his mother picked him up after the conference in a battered Mazda 121 with an out-of-date NCT and just two weeks left on the tax disc.