Galway West Fianna Fáil TD Eamon O’Cuiv was back in the spotlight this week as he once again trotted out the ghost of his grandfather and proceeded to make some outlandish claims on his behalf to a gaggle of gobsmacked journalists. Speaking at yet another protracted and shamelessly plug-heavy press call at the steps of his new nightclub, O’Cuiv launched his new business venture citing moral support from beyond the grave. “Tits-Out Hot Oil Dwarf Showdown Boogaloo is a venture that not only I am proud of, but my grandfather Éamonn de Valera would have been fully behind”. Orating from a makeshift plinth construced from phonebooks outside the club doors, O’Cuiv had placed a large tricolour behind him underneath a logo depicting an aroused dwarf in silhouette. “He may have envisaged comely and happy maidens” bellowed O’Cuiv proudly “but I’m sure oily and happy – and naked – dwarves wrestling on a stage between midnight and 1:30am every night except Tuesday would have been welcomed by my grandfather as a vital part of a progressive and changing Ireland”
“We’re also doing drinks promotions on Thursdays, and free-in for anyone dressed as an Oompaloompa on both Saturday AND Sunday night” roared O’Cuiv as he banged his hand on the plinth to underline his point.
“Hey, and read my blog” he added