Karen Woods-Quinn to star on RTÉ lifestyle ‘realimentary’

Contempt-of-Court laptop-smashing evidence-hider Sean Quinn Jr‘s wife Karen Woods-Quinn has become a high-profile lens-magnet in recent weeks thanks to her tasteful handbags, tight white pants and snazzy hair. Now the 31 year-old trophy wife has been predictably signed up to RTÉ’s Spring schedule hosting a new lifestyle show, ‘Rich Dublin MILFs‘.

“Rich Dublin MILFs is an eye-opening look at the world of some cash-rich, brain-poor wives of fat-walleted boom-jockeys living in the capital. Going to lunch, shopping, making unreasonable complaints about restaurant service, that type of thing. Saying ‘orf’ instead of ‘off’. You know.” said RTÉ spokesperson Fintan O’Hockna.

“It’s basically ‘Dublin Housewives’ off TV3 with different bimbos” he added, “but with more product placement of handbags and boutiques and less moral responsibility”

“…if that’s possible” he quipped, before making a “badum-tish” sound and pretending to hit a cymbal with a drum stick.

Karen Woods-Quinn has taken up a job as a part-time receptionist since the demise of the Quinn family fortune. Last week it transpired that contracts were in place to channel 36 million euro plus a half-a-million yearly payout to Karen on the shutting-down of one of the Quinn’s Russian business concerns. Messages of support for Karen have clogged Twitter on news of ‘the money that could have been’.

“I think Karen Woods-Quinn does a wonderful job as rich wife to Sean Jr and should be renumerated accordingly, by the state, to the tune of at least 40 million bucks.”@Clara_Flimsey-O’Donnell-Smith-Reilly

“KARIN OMG I LUV UR HAIR STUNNRRR!!!!! WAT IS PRISIN LYKE IS IT MAD YA”@JemmaShea1993

“Hey just bump ur fella off in jail, u will get cash payout off insurince i know some guys u can ask dey r in jail. DO it he is a freek nyway get a nice young fella wit a gud bum U GO KAREN”@Rach69696

“10000’s OF HANDBAG AND TRAINER BARGAINS AT BARGAINBIN.COM”@bargainbindotcom

The twitter feed also contained a large number of jokes by Frankie Boyle dealing with the subject of the time a disabled Nigerian immigrant horse had full sex with the Queen Mother in Dunblane when she was holding Hitler’s balls which had the words SS Gay Man Love Commando tattooed on them.

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