After a routine check-up by his GP, Independant TD and Kerry institution Jackie Healy-Rae has been found to be made almost entirely of potato.
“Having clearly grown in lumpiness and having assumed a rounded, more oval shape in the last thirty years, Healy-Rae’s admirers were watching a transformation process that was so miniscule in it’s daily shift it would never be noticed by the average human” said Dr. Turf of Tralee, Co. Kerry.
It was only as he was walking past the patient to get a stethoscope did the doctor notice that a load of grease had slid off his threadbare scalp onto his neck and was now causing his skin to fry nicely, and emit a smell of chips. “I was wondering why I was getting so hungry…I thought it had been that gruelling hip-replacement I had just come from, but it was in fact Healy-Rae’s potato head frying under a nearby lamp I use to help me look at tonsils” said Dr. Turf. “Hey – and he really looks like Mr. Tayto too, which makes sense” he noted. “But with a different hat”