Giovanni Trapattoni wrongly made Irish manager whilst shopping for back support car seat cover

Giovanni Trapattoni’s son Bonzo has revealed the embarassing series of errors which resulted in his father managing the international squad for 5 and a half years. The revelations are featured in a new book released today in the wake of the Irish manager’s departure from the squad after failing to qualify for the 2013 World Cup.

This my father was, I say” follows Trap’s early career in Milan in the 60s and his coaching career with teams such as Internazionale, Juventus, Cagliari and Red Bull Salzburg in the decades that followed. In the book, Bonzo Trapattoni sensationally dedicates a chapter to the FAI’s surprise decision to hire Il Trap in 2008, seemingly out of the blue.

"This, to my heart, I say: okay, and yes"

The chapter – simply entitled “Ireland” – is serialised today in the Irish Daily Sunday Sport. In it, Trapattoni Jr details the startling and unreasonable communication issues which lead to the elderly Italian getting hired: “My father a simple man. A brave man. An honest man. And my mother, she also. But I say, and yet this. They were taking trip around Ireland to drink and look at the Moher Cliffs, I say. My father, he say ‘I have bad back and need lumbar support as I am driving all of the day and am in pain in my head after all the Brandy and port and other drinks’. He was to driving the car all the day up from Dingle to Dublin to catch-a the ferry. He say this. My mother, you see he is the wife of my father. She say all the time “you are no good Giovanni” and all this things loudly in his ear holes as he is driving. He say he had a bad head from the drinking and his back sore. He say and the wife all the time talking and complaining to him. He say his head go crazy in his mind on the car in the driving”

The chapter further details how, on arrival in Dublin, Trapattoni asked for directions to a shopping precinct or area around which he could browse and purchase a lumbar support for his lower back, as well as one of those toilet seat-looking neck cushions you wear on a plane, and some Paracetemol. Unfortunately he was seemingly directed by some giggling scummers to the Abbotstown area and eventually wandered into the FAI headquarters to enquire further.

THe support Il Trap had initially sought out

Bonzo continues “my father, he is a great man. He say ‘I looking for support, the back needs more looser, I say, and cushion to look like toilet seat for my head’. He say he was then told to come into a room with some men and soon he say he was wearing tracksuit and doing headers in front of the cameras and drinking the champagne. And he holding up jersey with ‘Trapattoni’ on the back, laughing and saying ‘yes’ and ‘hurray I am manager’.”

When approached about the revelations, FAI chairman John Delaney said “when an experienced manager walks into the FAI headquarters unannounced and asks about support, supporting the back, where he could get some relief in his life, where he could be supported, that he needed to be comfortable where he was etc, you don’t turn him around and kick him up the arse and balls. You give him the job.”

Meanwhile Giovanni’s wife Paola Trapattoni allegedly spent the entire five and a half years of the manager’s Irish coaching career sitting in the passanger seat of their Ford Escort outside the FAI offices, beeping the horn angrily and getting hundreds of tickets for being double parked.