Belief-beggaring powerfreaks Gerald Keane and Lisa Murphy have unveiled plans to publish their first book this summer, based on their fabulous lifestyle adventures and magnanamous carrying-on. The hideous media-hungry twosome have today appeared in magazines and newspapers all over the country to promote their new venture, with many people inadvertently catching a glimpse of their nightmarish features whilst trying to eat their lunch.
Bizzarely titled ‘Celebrity Solicitor‘ Keane brought the eagerly awaiting group of journalists he had personally booked up to speed with a doorstep press release yesterday afternoon. “As you all know, my wonderful success and connections mean that I regularily enjoy the finer things in life, such as cigars and expensive shirts. Myself and my exquisitely beautiful partner Lisa Murphy feel we should let the public have a more intimate glimpse at our jet-setting lifestyle of power and success”. “See how the other half live, you could say!!!” he joked, as his big disgusting fishy face wobbled around like a sock full of puke.
The book will follow the couple as they quaff champagne with knuckle-shuffler Neil Prendeville‘s wife and other F-listers at locations such as the Galway races, Neil Prendeville’s restaurant and an aftershow party for pathetic awards show ‘The IFTAs’. Lisa Murphy is said to be “stunning” in the photos, according to Keane. The book goes on sale at €14.99 in aid of the Big Hearted Success Master Foundation, a private umbrella fund set up by Keane to feed into various other charities he champions.
However, it came to light that some critics of the couple have accused Keane and his beautiful wife of making up ridiculous nonsense ever other week to justify their hubristic and offensively shallow life of never-ending bullshit. These claims were roundly refuted by Keane. “Just because I am enormously wonderful doesn’t mean I can’t be brilliant”, he cryptically answered.
“It’s a Wonderful Life: The Fairytale adventures of powerful hero Gerald Keane and his beautiful partner Lisa Murphy” is on sale now from all good bookshops and online at http://www.brilliantcelebritysolicitorgeraldkeaneandhisbeautifulpartnerlisamurphy.com