Dr. James Reilly to grow hair & drive old van

James Reilly to avoid payment problems by looking and acting like Mick Wallace

More bad news has landed today in what has already been a terrible PR week for Fine Gael Health Minister Dr James Reilly, in the form of registration against him for non-payment of his share in a property purchasing deal. Dr James Reilly was one of five investors who had a €1.9 million judgement registered against them in Stubbs Gazette after agreeing but then failing to buy out a Tipperary nursing home. Speculation was rife that such a judgement on a serving minister (and deputy party leader) would leave his hard-working and honest reputation untarnished. This follows an exchange last week with Micheál Martin who called his honesty into question regarding health budget inaccuracies.

New wheels: The struggling sole trader look

Speaking on RTÉ’s Six-One news, Dr Reilly’s press secretary Miroshima Hamslice revealed that the Health Minister is now in talks with Independent TD Mick Wallace, in an attempt to glean vital career-saving PR advice and tactics from the unkempt former building contractor who made headlines for getting away with not paying his gigantic tax bill. She revealed that work was underway to Wallacize Dr Reilly, and mentioned that an order had already been raised to purchase “a large number of pink shirts” for the minister, which he will wear “in conjunction with new lengthy blond hair extensions”. She also said he would now be arriving at meetings with his lunch hanging out of his mouth and would change his state Mercedes for a 2003 VW Transporter with a busted front grill and a gross of empty fag packets lodged between the windscreen and the dashboard. These will be coupled with a pile of old parking discs and a broken spirit level.



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