Denis O’Brien to develop park in North Tipperary

Former Esat Digiphone magnate and internationally renowned Irish businessman Dennis O’Brien is set to fund the development of a new community park in Holycross, North Co. Tipperary. O’Brien, who says he “always loved parks” and has “a great affinity for the people of North Tipperary” has enlisted an army of local builders and landscapers to construct the park, which is being tailored to meet O’Brien’s specifications. “I just want to do something good for local economies such as this one, which I chose completely at random, and give the people something they could really benefit from, not to mention some much-needed local work!”
O’Brien unveiled the plans at a press gathering today, where he also announced that planning permission has been granted for his next project; a 600 foot tall statue of himself having vigorous sex with three women while a huge water feature simulates the pouring (by another naked woman) of champagne into O’Brien’s open mouth. The statue will stand in Dublin’s O’Connell Street and has been built with the provision to shoot fireworks from it’s backside at Christmas and New Year.