Daily Telegraph claiming Katie Taylor’s fists are British

Britain’s Daily Telegraph has come under fire from the seething Irish Twitter contigent after claiming heroic boxer Katie Taylor was of English descent. The gaffe was soon retracted with the paper conceding  it was only the boxer’s fists and forearms that were British, and were happy to agree that the rest of her body was/is of Irish origin.

Taylor appearing in the Telegraph

“It was an honest mistake” stated editor Giles Charlesfort “She speaks English don’t she? I heard her, didn’t I? Plus she was in London at the time, wasn’t she?” he said.

“Apples and pears” he added.

The paper was forced to offer a retraction of sorts in today’s online afternoon edition, reading: “Though she is as Irish as bad tarmac pothole repair and ignorant bumpkins fighting in the streets, those Great British Fists really make her force to be reckoned with! A true blue champ fit to fight for the Queen herself and her glorious realm of eternal majesty. Rule Britannia in excelsis”. It was coerced into comment after heavyweight Irish celebs such as former Live at 3 anchor Thelma Mansfield, pop DJ Simon Young and bird illustrator Don Conroy weighed in to go ten rounds with the English press institution over the slip-up.

Conroy's sketch unfortunately rubbish and terrible

“Ah come on! #DailyTelegraphbullshit” tweeted Mansfield, while Don Conroy linked a beautiful picture of an owl holding a sign reading “Telegraph R dickheds”(sic) which he had hastily rendered in charcoal. Unfortunately it transpired that he had worn his kestrel-training gloves while sketching, making it look absolutely terrible and shit.

Meanwhile, Australian newspaper group Fairfax Media was forced into an embarrassing apology after an article about Katie Taylor’s triumph over Britain’s Natasha Jonas in the Olympic boxing ring was branded as “lazy stereotyping” of the Irish and lazy sterotyping of themselves as racist myopic Australian morons.

It read: “Dark-haired, deep-eyed and engaging, Taylor is not what you’d expect in a fighting Irishwoman, nor is she surrounded by people who’d prefer a punch to a potato.”

The writer was unavailable for comment as he was busy at Fairfax Media putting shrimp on the barbie, shooing flies away from his facial area using a series of corks on a hat, calling the toilet a ‘dunnie’, drinking Fosters and travelling around in a kangaroo’s pouch.