Court approves revised slave & swan usage for Quinn family members

The Commercial Court has approved moderate slave use for the children of Seán Quinn and their respective partners.

Sworn documents seen by The Codologist were submitted to the court outlining the living expenses required by the Quinns which included:

  • Being fanned with large palm tree leaves
  • Having people shot for sport
  • Getting a thing of HäagenDazs at every trip to the cinema, even on weeknights
  • Having someone answer the door when the Dominos man arrives 

Their assets have been frozen and receivers appointed following an application by the Irish Bank Resolution Corporation, (formerly Anglo Irish Bank).
The court sanctioned living expenses of €2,995 per month for Brenda Quinn, €8,184 per month for Ciara Quinn and Niall McPartland, €3,743.82 per month for Colette Quinn, €7,775.85 for August for Aoife Quinn and Stephen Kelly.

A skeleton staff of four personal slaves and one cook will be retained by each of the family members for personal services. Brenda Quinn was also permitted access to 8 swans for personal use after an urgent appeal was forwarded by the family’s solicitor.

Brenda Quinn was also permitted access to 8 swans for personal use after an urgent appeal was forwarded by the family’s solicitor.

TROUSERED Coleslaw from Quinn's Kebab. Also featured on Quinn's trousers was urine from his kidneys.

The court also sanctioned €5,273 for Seán Quinn Jnr, who is currently in Mountjoy Prison, for rent and mortgage expenses only and €2,895.59 for his wife Karen Woods, to spend on hot milky lattes and tanning salon expenses.

Mr Justice Peter Kelly noted that there was still no disclosure of the whereabouts of around $32m (€26m) of rent from the International Property Group’s assets.

The judge also granted an application by lawyers for Seán Quinn’s nephew, Peter Darragh Quinn, to be able to stop representing him.
His solicitors said they had not had any contact with him since the early hours of Friday 20 July, despite repeated attempts to contact him. It has been widely reported than Darragh Quinn was present at a GAA match in Fermanagh on the 28th of last month. He was seen supping big pints and enjoying the match. He then stuffed his face with a kebab and chips before getting into an argument with a pal about the name of the former presenter of RTÉ’s Mailbag outside a local betting shop. Following that he was reported to have slowly made his way back to an unknown safe house, all drunk and sideways with piss and coleslaw and bits of cheese down his pants.

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