Cork Floods AGAIN

When I was a young boy going down PANA I do be always used to gettin a skull of bread and a bit a milk and head up down the way and over along to de Coal Quay where I used to sell my own hair for tuppence a bob and sure divil’s the doin’ of it, la’. Sure in dem days you could go up along and down the ways to ‘Con Murphy’s Crubeens and Aul Carts’ for a sup of a pint and a lovely bit a bodice and you’d be right as spuds in a hack on the ol’ road for what ails ya gan dabht. Sure didn’t we have floods back the way then like and sure yerra sure this is it. Sure once you’ve the hat on and the tae made and sure we used to all get a good flogging, did us n’harm. Although having said that I am incredibly psychopathic.
Erra Ol’ Con
Shandon St

Remember when a bit of the hill fell down by the Old Youghal road after the flooding in 2009, and it took 2 years for it to be fixed? Me and the lads used to go down and steal bits of mud out of the wall, and stones, and throw them in the river. Not to be vandals, more just to screw with the system. It’s bullshit – the government wants you to walk on ‘roads’ and ‘paths’, and just do what you’re told. Blind obedience is the real enemy. I mean what’s next, going to war to kill other young men like me, just because the government TELLS me to? No way brother. I’m staying here where I belong, in jail for three counts of gross indecency and theft of a small number of portable electric heaters.
Franque Regrets
Cell 5.9B
Portlaoise Hilton (LOL)

Now there's TWO lovely Lees

Im a 21 year-old female Nursing student with a firm body and a firm stance against the lacklustre response from Cork County Council to the spate of floodings in Cork in the last ten years! I’ve started a Facebook page and website, “The Nurse Who has Had Enough of the Government and Rain”. I’ve done a charity calendar which you can buy from the higher shelves of most National newsagents and I’ve set up a 1800 hotline to discuss the council’s response to drainage issues and what I am wearing. There is a login portal where premium members can avail of harder Council meeting and visual material including live chat and videos.
Lacy Underwire

When the town completely floods they’re unhappy. When the ESB accidentally floods the valley and nobody owns up, they’re giving out. When there’s no grit for the snow, they’re pissing and moaning. When we stock up way too much grit, they’re on the radio to Prendeville, crying and complaining, even though he can’t say anything to anyone anymore since his plane thing. So what are we going to do? I for one think we should dump a load of grit at the top of the river, then dump a load of it on the road to Kerry, then take a load of the flood water and fill up a few of these ghost estate houses, blocking the doors with more grit. Then, we should use the grit and water as a kind of paste and build a huge grit-paste wall around Pairc Ui Caoimh. Then we should make big hard heavy balls of grit paste and fire them up at Dublin using big catapults. Maybe the unemployed could help build them. Anyway, then we could set fire to a few busses at the end of the link road to Limerick and just put a load of grit and water wherever we want. We could swim in the water and eat the grit. I hate people from Dublin, every last one of them. And I fucking hate people from Monoghan as well.
Jim Brainsponge
Cork County Council