Barack Obama re-elected thanks to conversion of Moneygall to Crips territory claims resident

Local resident Seamus Ó'Suilleabháin

Moneygall, alleged birthplace of a distant relative of US President Barack Obama has been thrust back into the limelight thanks to the quirky actions of Obama campaigners hell-bent on reinstating the American President and keeping their town on the map.

Resident Aongus O’Gruaig explains: “Moneygall is like Graceland to the Yanks, they love coming up and having a pint in the pub painted like the American Flag, and taking pictures of some of the many cardboard cut-outs of their beloved leader that we have littered about the town – such as at the till in Xtravision and beside the all-night hatch at Topaz. Without him we would lose out big time. We knew we had to get behind him and show our support for this election.

We thought we’d wear blue to support the Democrats and discourage anyone from wearing red, the Republican colour. We all got really into it, wearing blue hats and bandanas and painting our doors blue. One of the lads brought his gun into the pub. Anyway long story short we decided to become a Crips stronghold, with crack and rapping and everything.

Where the confusion may have started

Moneygall, once a sleepy village between Dublin and Limerick with a population of 298, now boasts over 15 dismal crack dens and a large number of armed pimps running profitable games. The main street features two burnt-out vans and many of the town’s cars now do that jumping up-and-down thing. Moneygall has “twinned” with notorious gang-infested Los Angeles district Watts and sees busses of exchange students visiting this coming Summer to exchange cultures with their Irish contemporaries.

“We all call it “Cash Moneygall” now and we wear baggy pants to work and Mass” says O’Gruaig “we have our own gang signs – one hand does an M and the other does a G – and we might have a rap in the evenings if the weather is fair”

“It’s grand. Go on Obama – but Go on out of it ye Bloods!” he adds, finally.