Newspaper headlines nationwide have been dominated today by the news that a fourth and fifth date by lovable U.S. blue-collar cod-country everyman Garth Brooks (real name Jerry Goldenstein) has been added to his run of sold-out Croke Park shows. However, an unfortunate scheduling move has seen 150,000 punters mistakenly pay for tickets to “Garth’s Brooks“, a 1 day trade-only gardening display expo by veteran Australian ‘landscaping evangelist’ Garth Throttleguts taking place directly after both nights.
“Garth’s new gardening & landscaping display show “Garths’ Brooks” promises to be the best yet with an exciting new garden & decking outdoor heater area and World of Gnomes garden gnome display world finally installed with full Gnome show” boasted the Aitken Promotions‘s website today.
“We opened the doors at 8 am and by 8.01am a woman had her hand around my throat as she pushed 65 euro plus booking fee into my face. With such a similarly titled event taking place after the fifth night’s run of gigs, mistakes are inevitable and we unfortunately booked a number of punters into the landscaping event rather than Mr. Brook’s country and western sing along country-rock pick-up-truck yee-haw show” said Ticketmaster kiosk worker Undula Overbite.
Many of those that unwittingly purchased tickets for the gardening display show had been queuing for over 5 weeks, with an understandable lack of understanding for Ticketmaster’s standing on their event scheduling misunderstanding.
“I come away off the queue like. An I seen my ticket, and I says “gardening?” said bewildered Cork fan Con Murphy after realising the error. “And I goes, ‘hang on a second now’, like that….‘hang on now’, like, I goes…an I says to myself: ‘gardening? I thought it was Garth Brooks!” he said, excruciatingly.
“Holy sweet God tonight and the lord save us I said then” he further tantalisingly divulged. “I says: gardening?!” he further spittingly spasmed.
When news of the scheduling closeness was announced this morning, Throttleguts’ tweeted “looks like I’ve got friends in s-l-ow-ld-out places! Maybe my garden gnome World of Gnomes display area will cheer them up!”
A similar problem is expected for S Club 7‘s return to the stage with their October 2014 dates unfortunately booked right on top of Irish Neo-Nazi association SS Club‘s yearly meeting, “SS Club’s Face-Hate Fight-a-thon”