The Gathering billed as “PADDYSPEW 2013” in the United States

North America's PADDYSPEW campaign

The Gathering has come under scrutiny from opposition groups after it was revealed that the project was actually promoted in foreign countries as a beneficial way of getting Irish people out of their country.

The controversial marketing drive aimed at ex-patriot Irish citizens has been derided in the past for being a cynical exercise in rip-off price-gouging and a transparent excuse to bleed some rich Americans dry using the pretense of heritage and sure’n’begorrah. However, in various foreign climes the entire project has in fact been billed as an opportunity to deplete the plentiful Irish emigrant population by suggesting to them that they get out of the country and visit their homeland.

The Canadian Government launched ‘PADDYCANNON‘ last year to a rapturous reception at Ontario’s city hall. “Finally we have a reason to get these unkempt, confused and allergic-to-exercise creeps oot of our fine country” said Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. “Let’s take this opportunity to clean the place up a bit…get the sick off the sidewalks at least.”

Australia's PADDYWHACK drive 2013

In London, the popular “PADDYSLAM” campaign has been gaining momentum.”If I see one more orange freckly face I’m going to scream and my hair will go all wild” said the incredibly normal Mayor of London Boris Johnson. “And I know Manchester and Liverpool feel the same, or rather, they should. That is to say, rather.”

“That is to say” he added.

The Irish affiliates behind The Gathering insist that the project is just a good-natured commerce initiative brought about by ailing tourism figures and a 43% decrease in fat Yanks with big hats looking with wonder and sympathy at our roads and nightlife. “The Jameson Experience brewery is barely seeing a trade these days” says Darwin O’Bródaigh-Smyth of Failte Ireland. “Not only that but the Blarney stone is fucked, and there’s a load of teenagers drinking on the Giant’s Causeway”.

“And Funghi the dolphin got torn to shreds last Halloween. Someone stuck a banger in his blowhole”, he added.